Real quick, before I get any additional texts or emails asking if my previous post referred to the box store position, sorry – No. I am still employed. I was interviewed for both positions the same week, took the telemarketing job as I was waiting to hear about the hardware store position. I thought I would balance both for a bit, but that, as you have read, did not go well.
What follows is a short listing of the little conversations I’ve been having at work lately, why I call this quite the cultural experience…
1. Customer – Gurrrrrlll. Those finga-nails.
Me – Yes?
Customer – You got that same colah on yo-ur toe-nails?
Me – No. It’s different.
Customer – Cuz those naaaaails. Is FINE! ooooooh.
Was that a pick-up line? Did I miss something?
2. As I’m ringing up a couple, I learn that they met while in the Army together. As they’re buying pesticide to deter every kind of pest possible [Bugs, Rodents, Mammals and whatever squirms beneath] the wife conversationally intones, “I’d like to just throw a grenade in (the garden) and be done with it. But they say that’s not allowed within city limits.”
Me – No, I suppose it’s not.
“Yeah, safety concerns and whatnot. I just know we’d be done with it in a hurry if they’d just lemme do it, though!”
3. Customer – Heeeey..kjokjsdljkf
Me – I’m sorry. I can’t hear you.
Customer – Lemme come a little clo-ser.
Me – Can I help you?
Customer – I SAID – You’re beautiful.
Me – Do you need something?
Customer – hahaheheha – Yeaaah. Where you keep your mulch at?
Me – In the gardening section. Opposite end of the store.
Customer – You know….you are beautiful. What’s your name? oooh. Megan. Huh..Megan. So beautiful. They call you that? That what they call you, beautiful? Hmmm?
Me – I don’t need to talk to you anymore. Mulch is in the gardening department.
Customer walks off, giggling.