I got through, oh – 4 posts? – Without dwelling on Reverse Culture Shock. I’m patting myself on the back for that transition.
Now I’m giving myself a break and comparing and contrasting for a bit.
Life in America feels Impossibly Easy. As in, because it’s so sensible and I can just COMMUNICATE ALREADY, I think I should be on top of the world, at all times. Not succeeding, seems impossible. Not being employed immediately, made no sense. I have countless contacts, if I could do it in BKK, I could do it here, right? Eventually, yes. This isn’t a fair comparison, but my brain breaks everything into a comparison.
When I say life in Indiana, USA is impossibly easy, I mean it literally.
Transition is hard, seeming impossible and unreal and oftentimes like I’ll never settle down.
LIFE – is so simple, understandable and down right sensible, the details of life appear easy back “here”. I don’t get lost, I can ask for help, I can read the signs, understand ingredients, discuss my options. Navigating through my days is easy, even at times numbingly dull.
Navigating through LIFE – CREATING my space, here in Indiana, appears achingly impossible.
My car was in the shop last week – You have got to be kidding me! My bike has a flat tire.
My roommate and I have had no less than 6 people flake on us, after verbally agreeing to move in – This has to be some sick, twisted joke. Should we just break our lease, and then where will we live?
I’m uninsured, and if I were to have any kind of medical emergency, need any kind of medication, it would take me months to pay off the cost. – If I sneeze one more time, I’m taking the day off to prevent anything potentially, minorly harmful from growing inside of me. I cannot afford to be sick.
Thus, I found myself taking public transportation for a few days. Ridiculously complicated to understand these timetables! The experience, though, was so utterly unstimulating and easy I wanted to call every white car-driving human I know and describe it to them. No one pushed, shoved, or stepped on me, the bus didn’t start running until I had both entered and paid-in-full. It was clean. It was boring.
If we really do have to break our lease, I have couple-friends who have a spare room I could live in for awhile. Our landlord is so easy-going, I don’t doubt we could ask for a grace period as we wait to earn more money for rent. There are solutions, there is hope.
If I do have to go to the doctor, and need medical attention, I have a long list of free medical clinics, and patient assistance programs as I work my way into an insured position.
I panic, and wonder how the “big parts” of my life will sort themselves out, but there is always a comprehensible solution if I give it 24 more hours. Then the problem dissipates, and becomes another Easy Impossibility.
I miss being faced with true impossibilities – language, comprehension, safe medicine, transportation. I miss the challenge, even as I wonder if I will be defeated by these Impossibly Easy moments in Indiana.