This Fall {Just Write}

“You’re quitting? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Yes. My last day is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I’ll be out of here. Gone. I start my new job on Monday, the 2nd of December.

“Starting the holidays with a new job.”

Yes. It feels surreal, and I pinch myself to keep from getting too excited. The last 6 months have been so infuriating, because while my job situation was just frustrating – I was angry with myself, too. And that was worse. Being disappointed in yourself is a worthless, life-sucking, anger-inducing situation to muddle through. I don’t muddle well.

I’m excited. I am nervous. I’m about to do what I said I wanted to do, without the exact path that i wanted to take, but heading the right direction. I am excited. I am nervous. This is good, right? If it blows up in my face, it won’t blow up like the last 2.5 months of trying to squeeze my brain into a job it didn’t like or understand. I had the intelligence, I did not have the mindset. I had the capacity, I did not have the will. I had the ability, I did not have the passion. I had the foresight, I did not have the personality.

Is it okay to fail? And move on to something better? Yes, yes it is – I think. My pride says something different, and so I’ve been tripping over it. Funny, that’s what my employees say, “You trippin’, Megan Rose. That ain’t right! Nuh-uh- no way. Nawwww.” Is this real, that I am leaving a job with many angry regrets? Yes. So I trip, but I’m tripping less and I am glad and this is good and I have learned.

This fall is the end of one season I haven’t liked much at all. I think it’s the beginning of some greater season. Something’s brewing.

~~~~~

This is the 112th installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details here.} I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the URL of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main page, and please don’t link to posts that are not freely written in the spirit of capturing moments–you know, don’t link to how-to posts, lists or sponsored posts. Also, please link back to this post in yours so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.

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