…Then you can just wive hewe with Gwandma and Gwandad.’
This is how Iana explained her solution to my move to Texas. At 3, she gets that Texas is far away and I won’t see her very often. So she denies my move. The beginning part of that statement was, ‘Meggie. I don’t think you really wive in Texas.’
Her sister, however, thinks Texas is just a big airport. More or less. Along with not grasping the fact that I am her mother’s sister, and her grandmother has more kids than the two uncles that live at home, she doesn’t understand the concept of traveling between locations. She can understand travel, but not that travel transports you from one area to another.
‘Meggie. And don’t forget that when I am 6, you have to meet me at the airport! Because I am coming to see you. At the airport. Iana wants to come, too. So we’re coming together. Don’t forget!!!’
From my vantage point, their logic is hilarious and nonsensical. From Lucy and Iana’s perspective, I’ve given up everything sensible and understandable in my life. As adults, we grieve the loss of someone’s presence, we wish it wasn’t happening, we might wander around in an annoyed mood for awhile while we come to terms with how it affects us. As a kindergardener and a preschooler, they are honest – they don’t get it, they don’t like it, simply Don’t Do It.
I prefer their expressions of love so much more than my own tendency to feel sad and hide it. The only reason they can imagine me moving, is for a better house – and that doesn’t exist.
I to imagine if Iana could formulate her feelings into more sensible explanations she might say, “You have family here, we can love you if you stay, why don’t you stay? Because I love you.”
Instead, she rattles off, “If you want a new house, you can just wive with Gwandma and Gwandad. And I leave neawby!”